Sometimes when life is not delivering your immediate goal, it is helping you to not settle for less than your greater goal. – Alan Cohen
I’m reminded of this quote today because I had an a-ha moment as it relates to this quote. I had an immediate goal recently where I wanted to be in a committed relationship with a specific person. Well for the umpteenth time in recent weeks our communication was severed because I became super frustrated and angry because I was not getting what I wanted with him. As a matter fact, the last time we reconnected, what was manifesting was the farthest thing from what I deeply desired.
Due to the mounting pressure of years of accumulated disappointment with the lack of what I wanted with him, I expressed my discontentment in the most unflattering and demeaning way. I allowed my emotions to rock and rule my world. Today it darned on me that I felt something else too which I think caused more of my impetuous behavior than I realized…. I felt cheated. I felt robbed.
It was my immediate goal and I saw no reason why what I wanted wasn’t mine. I threw a tantrum like a two year old kid or worst because I was being denied what I immediately wanted. Hmph! And the world be damned because I wasn’t getting it! In hindsight, it’s always relatively amusing when I have discovered I allowed my mind to play tricks on me and distort things in epic proportions.
But today I had an aha moment…what felt like being cheated and deprivation was really a clarifying moment for me. Why do I see it this way? Because it was a turning point for me but the clarifying moment didn’t come until today a month later. Today it all clicked for me. Life wasn’t delivering me what I wanted because it was not allowing me to settle for less than my greater goal.
Had he agreed to have a committed relationship with me, I would have settled for a less than way of relating. I was so hung up on my immediate goal specifically being with him that I lost sight of my greater goal having a ridiculously amazing relationship. I completely forgot about what that looks like for me. So the real underlying issues wasn’t him having a committed relationship with me. The real underlying issue was it wasn’t panning out to be a reflection of my greater goal.
The actions and deliverable items simply were not there. I had my clarifying moment today and I fully recognize and embrace that I deserve to have the ridiculously amazing relationship I desire….. my greater goal. I’m thankful to him that he made the choices he did because we both would’ve been miserable because we both would have been settling for less than we desired. But, most importantly I am thankful the role he has played in helping me to achieve many clarifying moments over the past three years and some change.
I fully recognize he was what Abraham Hicks refers to as our rascal friends. He was a friend harassing me into expansion and he did it well. All our experiences help me to clarify what I want and don’t want in a relationship, who I am and who I am not, and what I want and don’t want in a mate. And, I’m pretty positive I did my equal share of harassing him too. But today I honestly and genuinely see that it was all good.
I felt cheated and deprived because I started blaming him for the reason I wasn’t achieving my greater goal. I didn’t recognize that he wasn’t doing anything to me and wasn’t withholding anything from me. I did that to myself with my sloppy and undisciplined thinking by not focusing on my greater goal. Had I been focused on my greater goal, I would have recognized that my immediate goal was inharmonious with my greater goal.
My lesson in all this …sometimes I feel cheated but in actuality oftentimes it’s just a clarifying moment. A moment where life is helping me not to settle and is assisting me in recognizing either what I want, who I am, or who I’m becoming. What I thought just a month ago was the worst situation in my life truly truly was the best situation of my life because it was a catalyst for me to embark upon making lasting changes at the most deepest levels for my life.
And another lesson in all of this is summed up in an excerpt from Alan Cohen’s book How Good Can It Get for Me?, “Rejection is protection. It seems the Universe is always conspiring to take care of me, in spite of my efforts to tell it how.” Thank you, thank you, thank you God/Universe.