This past week has been a challenging one. The monsters from times past come to visit me quite frequently. I oscillate between feeling positive and everything will go my way. To what are you thinking…do you really believe you can alter your circumstances and bend them to go the way you want them to go?
Yet I continue to persist. I continue to experiment with my life despite the voices inside my head. I can’t help but wonder why I think others are privy to my private thoughts and plans. It never ceases to amaze me how often I put myself in a box in an attempt to “save face”. It’s not like others know what I believe unless I communicate it.
So why do what others think weigh so heavily on my mind when I’m attempting to create the life I deeply desire? Ugh! This process is so fun on the one and so tiring on the other. I wonder how I can embrace the same spirit of adventure and experimentation I had when I was completing the exercises from the book E-Squared: Nine Do-It-Yourself Energy Experiments by Pam Grout.
If I could bring that spirit of wonder and let’s try it just to see what happens then I can’t help but wonder how differently my life my look. I have no idea why I take things so seriously and not learn to relax and just go with the flow. Why is it so easy for me to believe all the negative voices in my head? Why must they yell and speak so dag gone loudly?
I need to stop and ask them and “How Do You Know This?” They think they are psychics always attempting to predict the outcome before it happens when they don’t know any better than I do. And, it’s not only them but the voices outside of my head too. Why is when you share your goals and inspiration before they happen, folks tend to want to either give you the silent blank stare which screams and yoooooou think you’re going to really do that eh?
But, if you wait and share it after you get a little steam up under your belt, then it’s a whole different story. The same naysayers all of sudden are your cheer leaders. I just don’t get it what’s the trade off to go to the automatic negative? Why do we do it to ourselves and why do we do it to others?
All this chatter in my head and all the time wasted listening to it. I wonder what would happen if each time I heard the chatter in my head that I took action instead? For instance, my deepest desire right now is to become an inspirational speaker. I have no clue how to do it. I have no experience to back up my claims that anyone should listen to me.
Yet I have this urging inside me that has been there for years that say do it! Do it! Do it! Just start don’t worry about the how. The how will reveal itself in time. But year after year after year I stop myself before I even start.
This is part of the reason I started this blog. To practice my craft until I felt comfortable practicing it. I read in a passage in a book about Sales where this woman wanted to be a writer but doubted herself. And, each time she would attempt to write, she experienced writer’s block. The idea came to her during a seminar to make an appointment with herself each Saturday to write.
It didn’t matter what she wrote as long as she wrote something during that 30 minute block of appointment time. Within a few short months, she had written her book. She had wasted years of procrastination because she feared she couldn’t do it. How absurd is that? All that time she didn’t recognize the stopping is in the starting.
But, I do it too. When I think about it, what would happen if I just started reserving a block of time at the local library or recreation center, and deliver inspirational speeches? What would happen if I stepped out on faith and created a letter of introduction concerning my services? What if I sent those letters out to churches, organizations, and direct selling managers offering my services?
What if I sent it to schools? I have a passion for children and wanting to help them to unleash their natural abilities and talents. To equip them with the tools of positive thinking and taking inspired actions before they are overly condition with the “be careful what you ask for…you just might get it” mentality. That locks so many people in a vicious cycle of indecision.
What if I practiced my craft at every turn and at every opportunity? What if I searched high and low for those opportunities? What if I just focused on the actions that will inch me closer and closer to my life dreams rather than focusing on the results? What if I burned and etch in my mind that it doesn’t matter what will happen…what matters is if I build it they will come?