As much as I love music and it is my life line, I would think it would be a breeze for me to write about the three most important songs to me. But, I struggled with coming up with words to express why these songs mean so much to me. Probably because I struggle with emotions and songs are my outlet to help me convey and connect with my feelings.
Music gives me a safe space to feel the depths of my emotions to the deepest parts of my soul. It can be a sweet release on days when life feels like it’s barreling down on me and choking life out of me and sucking the very essence of who I am from within me. Yes some days life just feels like plain shit and other days it feels like the greatest gift that could be bestowed upon anyone.
When attempting to think of three songs that are most important to me, that was a no go. I don’t have an alltime favorite three songs. It’s more like which songs speak to me the most or reflect how I’m feeling the most within any given period of time. For instance, at the top of the list for me right now is “Stay” by Rihana but I only like the Branchez remix version. The original version makes me want to jump off the bridge or slit my wrists. I find the compilation to be way too morbid and depressing.
But the remix now that compilation says something very different to me. I first fell in love with this song when I heard in a DJ mix by DJ Baby Yu and it was the musical compilation that drew me in. I resonated with the beat and it transported me to an entirely different place. It is like I am swept away when I listen to it. It captivates me and I immerse my whole self into the songs and the lyrics.
I know why it speaks to be so vividly, passionately, and intensely because something about the song reminds me of the love that I have for a gentleman and the relationship dynamics I had with him. And, how much I wish he could have stayed. How much I wanted the relationship with him to work. How much he means to me speaks volumes to me whenever I hear that song. My heart radiates with so much love and passion towards him with every beat of that song.
It penetrates my soul and sets it on hot flaming fire when I hear and my thoughts are drawn naturally to him. The song says it all right down to the very last detail. The other song that really has been on my top three hit list lately is “Get Back” by Ludacris. Awh yeah that one speaks to me too but a different message.
I don’t if it’s because I’m turning 50 or what but about the past year I have been doing some intense introspection and self observation and as much as I have a big heart toward people. Some folks just get on my last damn nerve. And, this song is for all of them. I love the lyrics. Ludacris is just trying to have a good time and enjoy life in the lyrics and here some clown coming around to test him and his patience and his response is get back you don’t know me like that.
I resonate with this song because often times I believe people take my kindness for weakness. And, I have a tendency to forgive and give another try and believe in the good nature of folks and that they will change. But true to form not everyone can handle it. And at these times I get to the point where I have had enough and Ludacris well he encapsulates just how I feel at those moments in this song.
Last but not least….”Crazy” by Cee Lo Green. This one is the golden egg! This one lifts my spirits helps me to connect with my fun-loving, playful, silly self. I absolutely love this song. It reminds me of the unspoken pressures of life to show up a certain way, to be a certain way, to act a certain way. I agree with Cee Lo I think I’m crazy and I think you’re crazy too.
This is a reminder to stop chasing the elusive image of normal. There is no normal. We can’t stand on our heads enough ways to please everybody and/or for others to agree with how we live our lives or how we conduct ourselves. Yes this one is the top one because it says dare to be you unedited, unscripted, and unrehearsed. Just like this writing assignment because it’s killing me not to proofread this for errors and/or to correct the grammar.
Oh well time to publish it “as is”.