I recently posted about anger and that shame was at the root of it. The more I have contemplated about the subject of shame the more I have resolved a lot of inner conflicts with myself. And, more importantly some old outstanding wounds and conflicts I have had with my mom and others too.
I went to my mom’s house during the middle of the week and immensely enjoyed a two almost three hour visit with her. For some odd reason, I felt compelled to go see her and when I walked through her door the first thing she said was “you must of sensed I needed you and some love.”
Needless to say my heart almost melted. I find that my relationship with my mother has healed by leaps and bounds since I listened to those videos. I genuinely had a blast with her when I visited and I helped to alleviate some fears she was having.
I love my mom and all I can think about is all the years wasted because (1) I didn’t recognize the shame within me (2) I didn’t recognize how it manifested in my behaviors and thought processes and (3) I didn’t recognize how it manifested in other’s behavior and thought processes.
But every since I listened to the following two videos by Craig Hill a whole new world of understanding and acceptance has opened up for me:
In the second video, Hill explores the seven key rules in families that set up shame. No doubt he has piggy backed on the concepts found in the book “The Homecoming” by John Bradshaw. I read that book in my early twenties at the recommendation of a psychotherapist that I was seeing at the time.
But most of the information fell on death ears because I was unwilling to admit a lot of my internal emotional suffering was rooted in shame. But like the opening quote implies once it is expose, it has an opportunity to heal.
I wished I had been willing to admit this in my early twenties because I could have save myself a truckload and more of needless mental/emotional pain and suffering. Granted, Hill is heavy on the religion jargon but the message underneath is powerful if accepted and embraced wholeheartedly. And definitely worth enduring if religion jargon is not your thing to receive the essence of his message.
I was going to create a synopsis of what I had learned but instead decided to post the original content because I believe the way he has the message packaged is far better than anything that I could have summarize in a succinct blog.
I was so touched by this information I created an acronym for shame and that is Self Having Anti Me Experience. The messages from his videos has set me on an accelerated path of healing.
Embracing and accepting that there is shame within me that needs to be healed helps me to recognize and be compassionate towards others who are unknowingly struggling with shame and be more tolerant of the manifestations of their shame.
It is helping me to return to love and consequently making my life more peaceful and loving. I invite you to view the two videos because it has definitely set me free. If it is an eye opener for you, like it was for me, please share your aha experience in the comment section.