In order to be successful in life we need people. That’s the bottom line. No matter how much our ego tries to convince us we don’t need people…we absolutely do need people. We need them to help us and more often than not the more they like us the more willing they are to help us. And the easiest way to get others to like us is to like them first.
I know we all have been trained to trust our gut and I’m pretty sure we’ve all had that first encounter when we instinctively did not like the other fella. Can we be sure that it’s always our gut that’s the reason upon first encounter we automatically don’t like the other person? Would you agree that it could also be a reflection of our own insecurities, ambivalence, or even how we happen to be feeling about ourselves on that particular day?
It’s easy to fall into this trap of not liking others. The problem is when we go into a situation not liking the other person they are going to sense our dislike and it will kill any potential chance of persuading them and/or their willingness to help us. And chances are they will respond to our dislike with dislike for us in return.
Trust me I know this is much easier said than done. However, I think this one little trick will make it easier to do this and that’s to take the find-something-to-like about them approach. Abraham Hicks has a similar philosophy called looking for the positive aspects.
I know I know …I hear you saying but “How do you find the one thing to like about the annoying critical person who’s negative and always conjures up the worst possible outcome?” Well, I have found typically they are also very good contingency planners and help us foolproof our plan of action. Every trait can be viewed two ways, when we’ve defaulted to the negative then we need to switch it to the positive.
Focus on and play to the positive aspects of their weakness aka strength. This way skeptical becomes careful, stubborn becomes resolute, silent becomes good listener, critical becomes analytical/contingency planner, aggression becomes passion. And the list goes on. Sometimes it takes more effort to find a likable trait but everyone has one and it’s worth the effort to look for it.
Ironically the more we look for the positive aspects in others the more we look for the positive aspects within ourselves. Likewise the more we like others the more we like ourselves. It truly is a win-win and it works….they’ll like you if you like them.
I love to learn. Please leave me a comment with examples of how negative traits can be flipped into positive ones.
Look forward to hearing from you…….