Day 41 – Things Turn Out Best

indexThings don’t always turn out the way that we want them.  And, oftentimes this leave us with all kinds of questions as to why it didn’t/isn’t this happening for me.  I know when life doesn’t deliver me what I want I find myself experiencing a myriad of emotions.

I think it’s human nature to be drawn into the allure of wanting what we can’t have.  It’s amazing how whatever it is in our psychology that drives us in this manner can totally take over us and consume us with the wanting.

A lot of people get so hung up on what they can’t have that they don’t think for a second about whether they really want it. – Lionel Shriver

So much to the point that we get so hung up on what we can’t have that we don’t think for a second about whether we want it or not.  However, once we distance ourselves from the idea of having to have it, we can receive a rush of clarity.

Many times over I have been besieged by a great desire to have various things/people/situations in my life.  And, felt down right cheated when it didn’t happen for me.  Even had the nerve to lament everybody else gets what they want from life but me.  Really?  Now how absurd is that line of thinking?

However, there is one quote that I lean on during times like these.  Thank you Robert Frost for your timeless wise words….”In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.”

When studying the laws of the Universe, it is easy to get caught up and think everything I want I can make it happen the way that I want.  But, in hindsight I’m starting think this is not necessarily true because if it was true there would be no need for Law of Acceptance.

The opening quote I believe captures the essence of the Law of Acceptance.  While yes we can very much create the life that we want I also believe there are some things we have to accept and that is sometimes we’re simply not going to get what we want.

And, it’s okay.  It’s at these times we need to make the best of the way things turn out.  While sometimes this is very difficult and painful to accept, we must push through.

I agree with Ernest Dempsey when he said, “By working through these difficult changes in life, we grow into something new, better, stronger and emerge on the other side more beautiful and wise than we ever imagined.”

We may not see it at the time but things really do turn out for the best.  And, hold strong to knowledge “That all things work together for the good.”  In other words, if we trust the process in the end we’ll see the best was yet to come.


Day 40 – Thank You

Thank you for joining me on this journey.  Today is the last day of the challenge.  I hope that it has proved to be a fruitful one for you and that you will take the practices we discussed with you into days to come.

“Thank you” are two of the most powerful words in our vocabulary.  Thank you helps us to look for the positive in all situations even the seemingly negative ones.  Regardless of what happens to us or doesn’t happen for us being thankful is like taking a teaspoon of sugar to help the medicine go down.  At any point in time in life we always have plenty to say thank you.

One of the basic needs of humans is to feel appreciated.  But it’s one of the things we most commonly overlook to say thank you to the people in our lives.  In the book, The Magic by Rhonda Byrne, she has an exercise that encourages the reader to thank ten people that perform services they benefit from, by thanking those people directly or otherwise by mentally acknowledging and thanking them.  And, to feel grateful to them for the services they perform.

I’ve gone through her book several times over and each time I get to this day, I have chosen to thank people directly.  It is a heartwarming exercise that opens your heart to give and receive more love.  I’ve done it where I sent it to people who have provided services and to friends and family.  Each time the results are the same people are amazed and grateful to receive a special thank you note.

I invite you to do the same.  Send a thank you to ten people and really feel grateful to them for the services they performed or the role they have played in your life.  And, to count your blessings especially when things seemingly are not going your way.  There is something very therapeutic and soothing about counting our blessings when we feel discouraged, discontented, and/or defeated.  An attitude of gratitude will take us to places beyond our wildest imagination.  Try it….I promise you that you’ll like it.  Wishing you the best!


Day 39 – Dig Your Ditches

How many times have we heard the scripture “All things whatsoever ye ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.”  We must act as if we have already received.  Florence Shinn says “If one asks for success and prepares for failure, he will get the situation he has prepared for.”

There is a convincing illustration of this in the Bible, relating to the three kings who where in the desert, without water for their men and horses.  They consulted with the prophet Elisha, who gave them the powerful message “Thus saith the Lord – Ye shall not see the wind, neither shall ye see rain, yet make this valley full of ditches.”  We must prepare for the thing we have asked for, when there isn’t the slightest sign of it in sight.

When we work on the spiritual plane, we know one with God is a majority.  Therefore, we dig our ditches in  preparation of what is to come.  For instance, if your desire is to buy a new home but something appears to be an obstacle in you getting it, then buying something for your new home would be digging your ditches.  You would be preparing for your new home; thus acting as though you already had it.

Back in the day, our ancestors knew the value of digging ditches.  They advised young ladies who had a deep desire to get married to maintain a hope chest.  And they would put little trinkets in there that would be used once they were married.  I’m not sure what the success rate was but evidently it was compelling enough that young ladies year after year maintained a hope chest.

When we dig our ditches we show active faith.  It is needless to say that the ditches dug by the three kings in the desert were filled to over-flowing.  Getting into these type of spiritual habits is no easy matter for the average person.  But we must train and discipline our minds to focus on the wanted and to think and act from the viewpoint of already having received what we desire.

For instance, if your desire is to find a new job.  Then, digging your ditches would include things like typing up your resignation letter, creating a fake check from the company you desire to work for along with the pay amount you want, getting your desk caught up, documenting any routine functions you’re responsible for turning over to the next person, de-cluttering your desk, packing non-essential personal items and taking them home, typing up your employment acceptance letter, your thank you interview follow up letter, purchasing new items for you new office, etc.

Man can only receive what he sees himself receiving.  Digging ditches help us to see ourselves receiving more convincingly.  I invite you to begin with the end in mind.  What actions can you take to essentially dig your ditches in preparation of your abundance pressed down, shaken together, and running over?  Have them identified?  Great!  Now go dig your ditches.

Day 38 – How to Get the Results You Want

what you wantLack of confidence and too much effort are the fundamental reasons for failure.   Many people fall prey to failure because they lack the understanding of their subconscious mind.  We gain a great measure of confidence when we understand how our mind works.

We must remember whenever your subconscious mind accepts and idea, it immediately begins to execute it.  It uses all its powerful resources and activates all the mental and spiritual laws of our deeper mind.  This hold true for good or bad ideas.

Consequently, if we use it negatively, it brings trouble, failure, and confusion.  However, when we use it constructively, it brings guidance, freedom, and peace of mind.  The right answer is inevitable when our thoughts are positive, constructive, and loving.

The only thing we have to do in order to overcome failure and get the results we want is to get our subconscious to accept our idea or request  by feeling the reality of it now and the law of our minds will do the rest.  Turn over our requests with faith and confidence and our subconscious  will take over and find an answer for us.

Our failure to get results often times come from entertaining contrary thoughts such as “Things are getting worse.”  “I see no way out.” “It is hopeless.” “I don’t know what to do.” “I’m all mixed up.” With statements like these, we’ll get no cooperation from our subconscious mind.  Like a car in neutral, we won’t go forward or backward.  In other words, we won’t get anywhere.

It’s like getting in a taxi and giving the driver half dozen different directions in five minutes. He would become hopelessly confused and probably refuse to drive us anywhere.  It is the same when working with our subconscious mind.  There must be a clear cut idea in our minds.  We must make a definite decision that there is a way out, a solution for the results we desire.  Only the infinite intelligence within our subconscious mind knows the answer.

When we come to that clear cut decision in our conscious mind, our mind is then made up, and according to our belief it will be done unto us and we will get the results we want.

Day 37 – Until NOT When…..

How many times have we heard and/or said “I will believe it when I see it.”  Well, scratch that.  No more buying into that type of thinking for me.  From now on, it will be “I will believe it UNTIL I see it!” It will be  UNTIL not when going forward.  Beliefs are nothing more than  thoughts we have accepted as true.  And, I’m 100% convinced we accept them as true because we have repeatedly told ourselves the same thoughts until we materialized the hard evidence in our physical realities to confirm our ingrained thoughts.  Thus accepting them as true.

Don’t believe me listen to people.  I mean really listen to people.  And, hear how they argue for their limitations.  For a bonus activity, listen to yourself.  Sadly more often than not most of us do this.  Listen to how deeply ingrained these limited beliefs are and how these thoughts materialize into hard evidence for us over and over again.  I had an overall enjoyable evening out with a friend.  Her lament is always about how there are no good men out here, how men don’t speak, how men do this or don’t that, blah, blah, blah, blah.

You can definitely tell there is an unwritten belief that she will believe there are good men out here who are available to her when she sees it.  Boink!  Wrong answer because it’s not going to happen.  As long as she holds on to those type of beliefs for dear life there will be no when I see it.  And, no matter how much I try to convince her she has to change her beliefs first, she simply will not believe me and will argue for her relationships limitations even more fervently.

I can see it so clearly now.  I have read much about Law of Attraction, Deliberate Creation, and Law of Allowing.  I have listened to countless audios on how to make changes and create the life you desire.  I have read and listened to countless interviews of people who have defied the odds to achieve huge success.  But as I said in Day 36 post…it seemed as if faith was something random..either you have it or you don’t.

Not anymore.  I believe the great folks who have unlocked the magic formula forgot to share the real ingredient….which is believe it UNTIL you see it!  That’s where the real juice and driving force behind manifesting.  So in the case of my girlfriend, she needs to change her stinking thinking to “there are plenty of good men who I’m capable of having a long lasting, rewarding, and satisfying relationship with” and override the limited beliefs she has concocted in her mind.

If it’s financial freedom.  Then one would need to repeatedly say until it becomes reality that God/Universe is abundant and there is plenty of money to be had by all including me.  The same person would benefit greatly by naming the amount they would like to receive and go to bed each night counting their thousand dollar bills over and over and over again until they drift off to sleep.  Another practice to help believe it until they saw it would be to start connecting with the things the money would buy them.

If it’s a brand new shiny car, then they need to go and test drive it.  Research the insurance, maintenance costs, and tag fees so they know exactly the amount they need and going thru the exact motions as if they are actually purchasing it.  God/Universe has infinite resources and it’s about time we embrace this knowledge.  Jesus was a perfect example of demonstrating the concept of believing it UNTIL you see it.  He believed he could walk on water so he did.  He believed he could turn water into wine so he did.  He believed that he could heal the sick so he did.  He believed he could multiply the loaves and fish so he did. He believed he could raise the dead so he did.

He believed that he had access to the abundance, infinite intelligence, and the transformative powers that belong to God/Universe.  He also knew in order to activate it that unwavering belief was needed.  Therefore, there will be no more excuses for me.  I am now convicted that joy comes from within.  I am now convinced that no person, thing, or place will make me happy.  I am not convinced that I have the power to create the life I want that is congruent with my internal bliss by believing it UNTIL I see.

It took me 37 days of practicing manifesting to have this ah-ha moment.  Therefore, I’m going to extend my challenge another 40 days to practice believing it UNTIL I see it.  I invite you to join me in practicing believing it UNTIL you see it.  One fair warning…be prepared because I believe it will happen so fast that it will make your head spin.  Things will come together so quickly that you will nothing short of amazed.  Be prepared to receive your abundance.  Cheers!

Day 36 – I Choose Who I Am by Design


affirmationYou may have heard about affirmations and maybe you doubt they can work for you.  You may even be like me tried them a time or two without results.  If this has been your experience too:  you’re right not all affirmations work.  If you’re like me, you probably have tried to used cookie cutter affirmations – ones someone else created.  In order for them to be effective, it is important to make the affirmation your own.  How do they work?  Affirmations feed your subconscious mind about who you are – your identity.

I like to think of the subconscious mind to be similar to the hard drive on the computer and affirmations to be the save button.  The subconscious mind accepts messages as literal, only knows the present moment, does not understand what isn’t there, and does not understand vague or abstract concepts.  In other words, there is no editing process within the domain of the subconscious mind. Therefore when we craft our affirmations we need to ensure they are concise, present tense, positive, personal and corrective.

To be concise when drafting your affirmations means to exclude obscure words like better.  For instance, “I am a better time manager” is obscure.  What is better constitutes better? How will the subconscious mind know what that mean?  It’s like telling a two year old I need you to do better with picking up your toys.  A two year old would have no idea/concept of what better means.  Therefore an affirmation like “I am action person, I do first things first and one thing at a time.” would be more concise.

To use present tense means to avoid phrases like “I want to be….”, “I will be……”, “I’m going to…..”, “I want to be……..”, “I am getting……”  Other non-present phrases to avoid are “I will……” or “I should….”. Words like can and could or would are to be avoided too.  The idea is to train the subconscious mind to think of you in terms of of what you are, right here right now, not what you can be.  An example of present tense would be “I am secure and happy in all of my relationships.” or “I am focused an productive and I take positive action every day in my ideal career.”

Be positive because the subconscious mind does not recognize words like not or contractions such as don’t, won’t, can’t, etc.  Omit using these words in your affirmations.  An example would be something like “I treat myself with care and respect.” or “I write in my journal, take my vitamins, and say my affirmations daily as part of my self-care.”

To be personal and corrective means your affirmations should  move you overall toward something better, something you want, or something you want to be.  Affirmations are a very powerful tool to help you make the improvements you believe are best for you to make.  For instance, let’s say you struggle with exercise and/or weight loss, then the following examples would be personal and corrective: “I think and eat like a healthy and happy 135lb woman.” or “I exercise a minimum of 30 minutes each day to keep myself fit, healthy, and attractive.”

The important fuel needed for affirmations to work is repetition.  It takes about thirty days for a new affirmation to imprint on your subconscious mind.  I recommend starting with 5-10 affirmations and using them for a minimum of thirty days.  I also recommend saying them aloud first thing in the morning and right before bedtime.  After 30 days revisit them, you may want to revise some of them, swap some out, or add more.  The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.  And, the main thing is to practice, practice, practice saying your affirmations aloud.

Incorporate them into your self talk and be your own biggest fan!  Choose to use affirmations to design who you are!

Day 35 – Put It On Replay

repetitionMany will say that the reason our desires don’t manifest is because we don’t believe it will happen for us.  They go on to say you can do affirmations and say it to yourself over and over again but if you don’t believe it then you’re wasting your time.  For the longest time this has caused great confusion for me  while studying the laws of the Universe and manifesting.  Furthermore, how does this school of thought help us to believe?  It didn’t help me and left me with the impression real belief was random and either you had it or you didn’t have it.

I listen to some audios posted on a blog entitled “Jim Carrey’s 5 Tips for Creating your Reality” and while I felt inspired…I also felt hopeless because once again I was left feeling like real belief was random and either you had it or you didn’t have it.  This was not a  good feeling especially when I was already struggling with my faith today.  So I start to ponder on this key ingredient: Faith or Believing.

I now belief the secret to having faith/belief is repetition.  We believe in our fears through repetition and it is repetition that I believe will deliver us from our fears into the hands of faith.  I’m sure most of us have heard if you tell yourself something enough then you will start to believe it.  Instead of putting negative thoughts of fear on replay we need to put positive thoughts of faith on replay.

And, from my research the optimum time to put it on replay is last thing before going to sleep and first thing upon awakening.  When  I was doing this and my faith was strongest but I feel off the wagon before it became habit.  I suppose this is why the Bible admonishes us to pray without ceasing.  And, why many religions advocate prayer before bedtime and first thing upon arising in the morning.

My grandfather mastered this habit and he was an exceptional man with impeccable character and many achievements.  It will be back to basics for me: putting positive thoughts of faith on replay.  And, to stop falling off the wagon when signs start to emerge that my desires are about to unfold.

Here are some quotes about repetition from well known successful people and thought leaders:

Earl Nightingale: “Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion day, will one day become a reality.”

Brahma: “Frequent repetition of the same types of thoughts creates your beliefs and attitudes.  What you believe comes true for you.”

Norman Vincent Peale: “Repetition of the same thought or physical action develops into a habit which, repeated frequently enough, becomes an automatic reflex.”

Napoleon Hill: “Any idea, plan, or purpose may be placed in the mind through repetition of thought.”

Muhammad Ali: “It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief.  And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.”

Deepok Chopra: “It takes time and repetition to cause long-term balance to shift, but they will.”

Aristotle:We are what we repeatedly do.  Excellence then, is not an act but a habit.”

Bruce Lee: “I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.”

R. Collier: “Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.”

Tony Robbins: “Repetition is the mother of skill.”



Day 34 – Do More and Do It Better

Do a little more than you’re paid to
Give a little more than you have to
Try a little harder than you want to
Aim a little higher than you think possible
And give a lot of thanks to God for
health, family and friends.
– Art Linkletter

Do each day all that can be done that day.  Especially as it relates to your goals and desires. This doesn’t mean to overwork or blindly rush in attempting to do the greatest number of things in the shortest amount of time.  But, it does mean prioritizing and getting in the habit of doing first things first and one thing at a time.  Get in the habit each day of writing down the top six things you must do that day.

After writing them down, don’t look at the others only the first one, and work on it solely until it’s completed.  Then proceed to the next one and only work on it until completed.  Don’t worry if you only finished one or two the others can wait.  If you couldn’t finish them all by this method, then you wouldn’t have  finished them anyway.

The idea of taking things one at a time and in their proper order, of staying with one task until it’s successfully completed before moving to the next will drastically increase your completion rate.  This simple but tremendously effective method will take confusion out of your life and allow you to do more and do it better.  Capacity is a state of mind.

How much we can do depends on how much we think we can do.  When you really believe you can do more, your mind thinks creatively and shows you the way.  Success minded people constantly ask themselves two questions: (1) how can I improve the quality of my performance? (2) how can I do better? Just like General Electric’s old slogan their mantra is “Progress is our most important product.”  Why not make progress your most important product?  The I-can-do-better philosophy works magic.

Before jotting down your six most important daily tasks to complete, devote 10 minutes to thinking “How can I do a better job today?”  Ask, “What can I do today to encourage my employees?” “What special favor can I do for my customers?” “How can I increase my efficiency?”  This exercise works.

Try it and you’ll find unlimited creative ways to win greater success.  The success combination is do what you do better (improve the quality of your output) and do more of what you do (increase the quantify of your output) and apply it in business, in the home, in the community, basically implement it wherever you go.

Top success in any endeavor is reserved for the I-can-do-it-better kind of person.


Day 33 – Master Your Mental Monsters

Have you ever had an experience with someone and when they recounted the events your mouth drops to the floor in amazement because their recollection is totally different than yours?  This happens all of the time.  Not only with others but with ourselves too.  Let us already be in a delicate mood and something unpleasant happens….the mental monsters will have a field day feeding us unimaginable stories all slanted towards the negative.  And, if we don’t master them, they will have us acting like we think.  The consequences can be fatal to our relationships with others.

I had the opportunity to attend a Crucial Conversation and a Crucial Confrontation training at my job.  And, the class was really great in that they presented some awesome tools to sift thru the muck and mire and separate facts from the stories we tell ourselves.  But this was not my first exposure to this concept.  During marital counseling, the therapist at the time introduced me to rational emotive behavior therapy in worksheet form also known as the ABC sheet.  With this exercise you are instructed to divide an index card or piece of paper into three columns and label them A,B,C respectively.

In the first column(A), you’re instructed to record what happened (the facts), and in the second column(B) what you thought about it (the story) and in the third column(C) your feelings a result of what you thought.  The therapist instructed me to stop and do this exercise to recalibrate before having any type of emotionally charged conversation with my husband at the time or anyone else for that matter.  Well, let me tell you this was waaaaaaay easier said than done.  It was a more miss than hit process for me.

Years later I took the Crucial Conversation/Confrontation training, still a very hit or miss process for me with more misses than hits.  Then while googling on the web a few years later, I came across Byron Katie’s website which again expounded on this concept of separating facts from the stories I tell myself about the facts.  Her worksheet took things a step further and you were instructed to explore how you would feel without that thought.  Basically, this was the third time this concept was being reinforced.  Yet I still could not tame the mental monsters when the stakes were high….they still would get the best of me and I would resort to having a very emotionally charged conversation that  resulted in damage to my relationships.  And, also left me with overwhelming feelings of regret.

I just didn’t get it.  I knew better but yet I still could not master my mental monsters at critical times.  I don’t think it really clicked for me until recently, when I started doing research daily in order to blog. I finally found the key to mastering my mental monsters.  I have discovered to master them I need to purge them daily.  I didn’t recognize I needed to do this before because I had cultivated the habit of listening to their sweet nothings day in and day out, and I didn’t stop to question what they were saying.  Now I practice being more aware of my thoughts and catching myself in the act when my mental monsters start with with their campaign of lies.

I have made the commitment to take possession of my mind to direct it, command it, and train it to focus on what I want.  Mental monsters have an insatiable appetite for the unwanted.  It’s main focus is to feast upon the unwanted.  So I noticed anytime I start to dwell on the unwanted the mental monsters would have a field day.  Therefore, I discoverd the antidote is to purposely feed my mind the wanted on a continuum throughout the day, day in and day out.  If my mind drifts to the unwanted, I refocus it back to the wanted.

Some of the behavioral changes I have noticed include, but are not limited to the following:

  • My dialogue has changed and is much more positive
  • I feel calmer, happier,  and more optimistic
  • I am more accepting of behaviors in others that I found totally annoying before
  • I’m finding it is easier for me to forgive others and myself
  • I’m starting to take more chances and live beyond my comfort zone
  • I’m taking better care of my health and surroundings
  • My relationships with others are vastly improving
  • I feel more confident and capable
  • I am cultivating the ability to do what I need to do when I need to do it
  • I am more loving and appreciative of others
  • I am developing the habit of being more thankful
  • It is becoming easier and easier for me to accept what is
  • My focus has shifted from getting results to making life long changes
  • I’m enjoying being single, focusing on me, and living well while I can
  • I’m getting in the habit of looking for the silver lining even in the midst of being emotionally charge
  • I’m mastering the art of self-soothing
  • I blame others less and less

In essence, mastering mental monsters is just like the effort to maintain good hygiene, we must cleanse our minds daily or there will be funky consequences.  And, just like poor personal hygiene repels folks and send them running from us….our mental monsters do the exact same thing.  Therefore, we must rule our minds or our minds will rule us.

Day 32: Reject Rejection

I remember when I was in direct sales rejection often times felt like the greatest form of failure.  In the beginning I would will feel the pang of failure with every no I received.  I would let it get to me and have me frozen and incapable of getting back on the phone to make more calls to secure appointments.  No one would want to be rejected, right?  Wrong!  I learned from experienced people in the business to reject rejection.

I noticed they welcomed rejection with slogans like “every no moves you that much closer to a yes”. They would challenge us with contests like get a 100 Noes.  The objective would be to call until you received a 100 noes.  Want to know the irony?  It never happened for me.  Inevitably I would receive a yes in the process.  They understood something that exercises like these taught me…the law of averages.  Understanding the law of averages helps you to not mind rejection.  In fact, you count on it and even begin to welcome it.

Why?  Because you realize that it typically takes ten rejections to one success.  Once you know the truth about the law of averages, you will never look at rejection with the same gloom and doom.  You know that rejection is a necessary part of your journey to success.  When I was in direct sales, I figured out my law of averages to earn the money I needed each month and to reach my goals.  I knew for every ten sales calls I made I would book a show.  And, I would use the company average to calculate on average how much I would earn per month.  So, instead of hyperfocusing on rejection, I just focused on the actions needed to reach my sales goals.

Can you imagine the power that comes from knowing and embracing the law of averages?  You won’t get frustrated or stuck from a no.  You will understand that it’s just a part of the process of getting to a yes!  Embrace the law of averages.  Know exactly what you have to do to get the results you want.  How many noes do you need to accept in order to get to a yes?  When you embrace the law of averages, you will stop fearing the word no and begin to respect it.  Open yourself up to enough noes in your life so that you won’t be afraid of rejection anymore.

When you have respect for the word no, you will not only help yourself approach people with confidence, but you will also start to attract people to you.  You will see yourself as a genuine match for the “right” person and/or opportunity.  Others will see you this way also and be attracted to you.  Respecting the word no can help you to regain your courage.  How many noes do you need to reach your goal? I dare you to keep going until you get 100 noes in a row.