Can Thoughts Transform Into Reality?

“I am the creator of my reality.  Whatever I focus on I create.”  At least that’s what I read on a quote.  What do you think?  Do you believe it’s true?

I think it goes a little bit deeper.  Something more along the lines of “I am the creator of my reality.  Whatever my conditioned/habitual beliefs are I create a matching reality.”

From my experience, it is not so much that I think it and/or I focus on it as much as it is I have to be 100% committed in conditioning myself to believe it.  Law of Attraction is what it is.  It is an attractive, magnetic power of the Universe that draws similar energies together.

I think what is missing is the understanding in so much LOA propaganda is that I must convince myself first.  And depending upon how much I don’t believe it will determine how long it takes me to turn the tides of my mental thinking and create the reality I desire.

Why bother you might ask?  Because either way, we will create our reality…deliberately or not.  I agree with Bashar when he said “Everything is Energy and that’s all there is to it.  Match the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality.  It can be o other way.  This is NOT philosophy.  This is Physics.”

I love to challenge myself and my FB group each month.  This month’s challenge is Feel the Power.  And it’s all about using daily practices to condition  thoughts to align with a specific  goal so that  enough thought force is emitted to leverage LOA and create the experience desired.  It starts Jan 1 and is a 31-day challenge.

If you’re tired of living a Groundhog’s life that’s not yielding you the results that you desire, then join the challenge and follow me on Facebook .

Cheers! ❤ ❤ ❤

Create An Emotional Blueprint

How will you feel once you have what you want? Do you know most of the time we are clueless what feelings we’re after when we desire something? Our manifesting tip of the day is to create an emotional blueprint for whatever it is you’re deeply desiring.

As Hicks often says we all want something because of how it will make us feel. So what does having what you want going to make you feel? Sit with your journal and brainstorm what feelings you’re expecting to get in return for achieving your desired goal.

Once you have your list of feelings then pick the top three desired feelings. Let’s say it’s passion, adventure, and fun. Then think of different things you can do each day to infuse your day with those feelings.

Why? Because Law of Attraction says like attracts like. And feelings are our honing signal which activates the Law of Attraction to draw experiences, people, things, and circumstances to us. When you’re doing your daily visualization remember to focus on seeing yourself feeling these feelings. Include them in your scripts and actually allow yourself to feel the feelings as you’re imagining having what you desire.

Let’s say your emotional blueprint for wanting a relationship is because you believe it will bring you feelings of passion, adventure, and freedom and it’s not right here right now for the taking then go out and do other things to generate these feelings and the Universe will deliver you more and more experiences to add to those feelings. And then you’ll look up and notice that the one you deeply desire is there beside you sharing in the passion, adventure, and fun with you.

Why? Because Law of Attraction states “that which is like unto itself is drawn”. Try it! Create your emotional blueprint for your desire today.

Cheers! ♥♥♥

They’ll Like You If You Like Them


In order to be successful in life we need people.  That’s the bottom line.  No matter how much our ego tries to convince us we don’t need people…we absolutely do need people. We need them to help us and more often than not the more they like us the more willing they are to help us.  And the easiest way to get others to like us is to like them first.

I know we all have been trained to trust our gut and I’m pretty sure we’ve all had that first encounter when we instinctively did not like the other fella.  Can we be sure that it’s always our gut that’s the reason upon first encounter we automatically don’t like the other person?  Would you agree that it could also be a reflection of our own insecurities, ambivalence, or even how we happen to be feeling about ourselves on that particular day?

It’s easy to fall into this trap of not liking others.  The problem is when we go into a situation not liking the other person they are going to sense our dislike and it will kill any potential chance of persuading them and/or their willingness to help us.  And chances are they will respond to our dislike with dislike for us in return.

Trust me I know this is much easier said than done.  However, I think this one little trick will make it easier to do this and that’s to take the find-something-to-like about them approach.  Abraham Hicks has a similar philosophy called looking for the positive aspects.

I know I know …I hear you saying but  “How do you find the one thing to like about the annoying critical person who’s negative and always conjures up the worst possible outcome?” Well, I have found typically they are also  very good contingency planners and help us foolproof our plan of action.  Every trait can be viewed two ways, when we’ve defaulted to the negative then we need to switch it to the positive.

Focus on and play to the positive aspects of their weakness aka strength.  This way skeptical becomes careful, stubborn becomes resolute, silent becomes good listener, critical becomes analytical/contingency planner, aggression becomes passion.  And the list goes on.  Sometimes it takes more effort to find a likable trait but everyone has one and it’s worth the effort to look for it.

Ironically the more we look for the positive aspects in others the more we look for the positive aspects within ourselves.  Likewise the more we like others the more we like ourselves.  It truly is a win-win and it works….they’ll like you if you like them.

I love to learn.  Please leave me a comment with examples of how negative traits can be flipped into positive ones.

Look forward to hearing from you…….

Recognizing the Other Person’s Reality


Understanding our reality versus the other person’s reality can really help us in achieving our goals in life.  Far too often we make the mistake of judging and seeing things only from our reality aka perspective.  When we lack the ability to recognize the other person’s reality we tend to misstep and/or misjudge a situation.  Additionally, we tend to either interpret situations as being personal and/or intentional.

When in actuality as Tony Robbins says “We are all just trying to get our needs met and really aren’t too focused on the other guy at all”.  And I have found this to be very true.  We’re quick to label others as selfish and lack seeing when we too are motivated by selfish reasons.

One of the best ways to cultivate the habit of recognizing the other person’s reality is to pause for the cause and take a moment to step back from the situation at hand and ask ourselves “how can I connect with this person?”, “what reality would match this person’s behavior?”, “why would a sane, rational, reasonable person be acting this way?”, “when I look at this person’s behavior, what objective might this person be trying to accomplish”.

It’s amazing how much easier we can connect with others when we practice taking a 360 degree look at things to attempt to understand what reality another person is entertaining and then developing a plan of action to influence the other person based on what their needs are at the moment.

Not only is it important to recognize the other’s person reality.  It’s even more important to recognize our own.  For instance, your reality is “I need a label for my relationship with the guy I’m interested in.”  His reality is “I could give a rat’s ass about getting involved in another committed relationship with another overly demanding woman.”  So it’s all about them and their need to avoid feeling put upon and/or responsible for someone else’s emotions.

Unfortunately in a situation like this, more times than not a woman will try to force the issue based on her reality and feel entitled to a “labeled” relationship because all the things she’s done to invest in the relationship and/or the time invested in it.   However, would you want to do something of your own free will or force?  In situations like this a better approach would be to find a way to apply Dale Carnegie’s quote…”arouse in the other person an eager want.”

And, to do this we must first recognize the other person’s reality and then leverage it by using effective negotiation and persuasive skills.  In sales it’s called “WIIFM – What’s In It For Me?”  Once you determine that then you can subtly begin to win them over to your reality.


Drifting Is Not Navigation


Want to guess how many full 24 hour days we have starting tomorrow, November 22, 2016?  Yep, you guessed right!  Forty full 24 hour days.  How will you spend them?  Will you aimlessly drift through them into the new year?  Or will you be intentional and navigate your way into the new year?

I choose to navigate into the new year.  I find this to be a perfect opportunity to invest my time in cultivating new seed habits for 2017.  Take baby steps if you need to do so.  If it’s true that it takes 21 days to develop a new habit.  I wonder what 40 days of intentionally practicing a new habit will yield for us?

I plan to go all out and have intense focus on developing three new habits that will support my top three goals for 2017.  My granddaddy used to say “If you don’t know where you’re going any road will take you there.”

What if it were just as simple as “It is my dominant intention to  drink 1/2 my body weight in water for the next 40 days to support my weight loss goals.”   Or, “It is my dominant intention to walk at least one mile a day for the next 40 days to support my weight loss goals”.  Or, “It is my dominant intentions to consume 3 fruits and 3 veggies each day without fail for the next 40 days to support my well-being goals”.

In sales?  What about “It is my dominant intention to make 5 income generating calls over the next 40 days.”  Career goals? “It is my dominant intention to study in my field 30 minutes each day to increase my knowledge in my career.”  Purchase a new home?  “It is my dominant intention to invest time looking a new houses, playing the money game, and visualizing being in my new home”. <= this one is regardless of if your bank account says you’re ready or not.  Same thing for any other purchase like buying a new car, furniture, etc.

Ready to meet the love of your life?  Or want to take your current relationship to the next level….What about “It is my dominant intention to set the table for two each day over the next 40 days in anticipation of marrying my highest mate.”  or “It is my dominant intention to turn the other side of my bed down over the next 40 days in anticipation of marrying my highest mate.” or “It is my dominant intention to keep an extra set of towels and change them out over the next 40 days as if I already am married to my highest mate.”

Whatever it is…your new habit doesn’t have to be a huge leap of faith or monumental.  Just something that keeps you focused on taking some type of action each and every day for the next forty days.  This is all prep work to build momentum so that you can get your mind to believe that you can have what you want and to take continual action towards your top three goals.

I think you get the picture.  Just get moving and get 100% focused on what it is that you want.  And don’t make the mistake of figuring out how it will happen.  Just keep your focus 100% on your intended end and take a baby step action each day that reinforces that you believe it will happen for you.

I want to hear from you….what’s in your navigational kit?  How will you use the next 40 days to sail your boat towards your intended destination?  Better yet what ideas do you have to share with others?  What baby steps do you recommend for a particular goal?  I’m excited and am looking forward to the next 40 days….Are you?

I Choose to Challenge My Limits


WOW!  It is so hard to believe we are in the home stretch quarter of 2016.  Remember all those new year’s resolutions and/or goals?  How have you performed?  I pulled my list out and I’m not quite where I want to be as far as achieving my 2016 goals.  Therefore, I’m going to push beyond the limits and take things into overdrive this last quarter of 2016.  December 31, 2016 will not come and go without me reaching my top five goals I set for myself.

I choose to challenge my limits this last quarter of the year in a way that I never have before.  Jean-Jacques Rousseau proclaimed “The world of reality has its limits; the world of imagination is boundless.”  Sages of all times have chimed in and agreed that we are only limited by our minds and that our imagination is limitless.

I don’t know about you but I’m ready to create “THE” life for me with all the things in it that I deeply desire.  I’ve been really observing myself for the last couple of months and others and I noticed that we have so many limits we erect in so many areas of our lives that we’re really unaware of how many we have and how we allow them to control us and our lives.

Additionally, I noticed that there are a lot of unwritten rules that if we’re not careful will limit us in unthinkable ways.  Where am I going with all this?  I’m saying all this to say challenge the limits in your life.  Examine your life and see where you have erected limits either consciously or unconsciously and then start to challenge them.

How can you challenge them? By asking questions, questions, questions!  For instance, let’s say you are in sales and you’ve unconsciously decided that it’s going to be challenging for you to either earn the money you want each month and/or the current promotion in your company.  Then instead of making declarations, start asking questions.

Such as how can I earn xyz by the end of the month?  Or how can I earn this year’s promotions?  How can I increase my knowledge base?  In what ways can I increase my efforts?  Who would love my products?  Why should people join my sales team? Where can I set up informational tables?  What knowledge do I need to increase my profitability?  How do I need to change my day to day habits/actions to support my goals?

When you ask questions instead of making declarations you give your subconscious mind a chance to help you solve your challenges/problems.  Thus helping you to not only challenge your limits but to surpass them.  Don’t believe me?  Try it.  First write down at least 5 things you want to achieve by December 31, 2016.

And then invest 15 minutes daily with pen and paper and start asking yourself as many Who, Why, How, Where, When, What questions as you possibly can to find solutions to reach a goal that either seemed out of reach or challenging to achieve.

Remember, you need to actively spend 15 minutes each day with your goal(s) asking questions and then writing the answers as they come to you.  Join me and choose to challenge your limits and build the life you’ve always dreamt of!  Will you choose to challenge your limits?

It’s MY Journey

journeyToday I was reminded again to allow myself to be who I really am.  So many times in life we are faced with people, situations, and circumstances that causes us to doubt ourselves or to be tempted to twist ourselves to accommodate others and/or attempting to change to soothe them.  But today I remembered when face with such a situation that my soothing is my job and anyone else’s soothing is their job.

I’m done standing on my head and/or jumping through hoops like a circus poodle to assuage other people’s feelings.  Either accept me for who I am or the EXIT sign is right over there.  Am I saying that going forward that I will be uncompromising,inconsiderate, inflexible?  No. 

But there is a marked difference between being compromising and changing my behavior and making too much out of other people’s imbalances.  And, allowing their imbalances to disrupt MY journey.

This is MY journey and I need to practice healthy selfishness and make feeling good my number one priority.  And how do I do that?  By paying attention to what my emotions are communicating to me at all times. 

My emotions are similar to the various warning systems in our cars that tell us when need to refuel our tanks, change the oil, put air in our tires, etc.  Certainly we would not ignore them and simply say oh well it’s just the car and keep driving without making adjustments/changes.

Instead we would see them as a signal that something needs to change.  Likewise my number one job is to pay attention to my emotions when they start to swing over to the negative side because it is a signal clearly saying something needs to change.  Either my perception or my procedure.

My emotions are constantly giving me feedback saying either “Yes! you are moving toward something that is feels good or No! you are moving toward something that feels bad.”  And our thoughts are like the steering wheel.  Certainly we would not continue to keep our car pointed towards a ditch and simply say oh well it’s just the car and I can’t help the direction it’s going in.

Likewise we can’t just allow ourselves to continue to feel bad and say oh well it’s just how I feel until it changes somehow.  No, we must take hold of the steering wheel and turn it around. And, the way we do that is to steer our thinking towards thoughts that either bring us relief or make us feel good.

We take ourselves and life waaaaay to serious by constantly hyper focusing on the evidence of what is in the present moment.  And, then we let our minds play tricks on us and take the evidence of the present moment and project it all the way out to the future.  Especially when it is evidence of the negative variety.  I’m truly baffled as to why do we do this to ourselves.

The best way to make sense of My Journey is to take the time and pay attention to what I’m feeling and then exploring what my feelings are telling me.  And, in the process I need to be easy on myself and easy on others.  We are all in this life trying to make sense of our journey. 

Some of us do a good job managing our emotional feedback systems and engaging in self-soothing.  And, some of us are still acting like two year old throwing temper tantrums and handing our personal power away on a silver platter. 

How?  Because we are still attempting to make someone, some event, some situation, etc our ‘be all’ ‘end all’ and when it doesn’t happen we throw a fit trying to demand that life or someone else change in order for us to get what we want and be happy.

Ironically, whenever we do get what we want we are happy all of 30 secs, one minute at the most.  It’s like a blip on the radar and then just like a two year old our attention has shifted to the next object of our ‘be all’ ‘end all’.  Living life in this manner will drain us and shorten our years due to monumental stress. 

It is a much easier life when we make sense of our journey and recognize that we can always feel better at whatever stage we are in life and it is then that we can get over to the other side and enjoy what we desire.  When we make sense of our journey, we are in alignment with our true selves and their are no downsides.

Because when we are in alignment with our true selves we experience leverage, clarity, vitality, humor, balance, creativity, joy, and love, just to name a few.  When we are aligned with our true selves, all the rest of it doesn’t matter because we are connected to our Source Energy (God).  And we know and trust that we are in good hands.  We rise above and understand it’s MY journey and that it is an emotional journey.



Day 51 – Fact Vs Fiction

It’s funny how often we fail to  practice fact finding when the stakes are high or our emotions are in overdrive.  Instead we believe the fiction we tell ourselves about the facts.  And, the more we go down the slippery slope of telling ourselves stories the more our emotions heighten.

I can not tell you how many times I’ve burned myself by letting fiction get the best of me.  I was listening to an audio the other day and Carnegie said most of man’s worry and stress are because man doesn’t take enough time to do the proper fact finding.

I agree with him when we believe our own press releases all sorts of worry and stress are the by-product.  We can take a simple fact and blow it completely out of proportion which is a complete misuse of our imagination.  I know there is nothing more embarrassing to me than revving myself up with some convincing fiction to later discover that I was completely wrong.

It’s too bad that we don’t approach situations with the attitude innocent until proven guilty.  Instead we allow our fears to create some of the most ridiculous stories about the facts. In the Crucial Confrontation/Conversation training they call it mastering your stories.  Tony Robbins refer to it as mastering meanings.  And, Mindy Audlin calls it mastering your mental monsters.

Nevertheless it is agreed in order to be successful in life we must learn to accentuate the positives and eliminate the negatives.  And, I believe one surefire way of doing that is learning to squash interpreting facts by going to the automatic negative and telling ourselves some pretty horrific stories about ourselves or others.

Just take a day and observe and listen to yourself and others.  You will be amazed at just how much we tell stories about one simple fact.  Fact finding is the best automatic default to have not jumping to conclusion.   Here’s an example, let’s say a lady has a boyfriend and they break up.  Then they get back together and she goes over to his house for the first time since the breakup.

Let’s say she sees that he has an additional toothbrush on the bathroom counter and he has an additional wash cloth and towel in his bath.  Do you think she will automatically do the fact finding or jump to conclusions and react as a result?   Yes, you’re right more than likely she will jump to conclusion, call the score, and land him a pretty angry reaction.

It’s amazing how we react when we tell ourselves stories, sometimes nightmares, about a situation.  And, how we respond when we engage in the proper fact finding.   I remember I told my calculus teacher in college that I assumed he meant something in class.  And, his response was let’s look at the word assume….it means making an ass out of you and me.

He was right too.  Whenever we choose to assume we risk making an ass out of ourselves and the other person.  It really is a better choice to master our mental monsters rather than jumping to conclusions and creating a problem that wasn’t there or making a problem that is there  much larger.  When in doubt I’m learning it really is better to ask and not assume.

Day 47 – Begin Again More Intelligently

failureSometimes things in life just don’t turn out the way we’ve planned.  And, one of the things I find the hardest to do is to say farewell to people I genuinely love.  Whether it be because I’ve decided it’s best we don’t progress any further side by side along this journey of life together or because others have told me.  Either way it is not any less painful.

I don’t know who the unsung quoter is that coined the adage “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”  But, their timeless adage prevented me from having some pretty dark days when having to face an effort to build a rewarding and meaningful healthy friendship, marriage, and/or romantic relationship has failed and miss the mark because either both parties or one of the parties involved.

Nevertheless, thank you thank you thank you Robert Frost because your words “These three words I can sum up everything I learned about life: it goes on.”  And, indeed it does.  Nature hates a vacuum and sooner or later it will be filled.  Sometimes people make decisions from the ego and not their hearts and allow someone to walk out the door and/or push them out the door because they are dead set on being right.  A good friend once asked me “do you rather be right or loved?’

Sometimes when faced with decisions as it relates to relationships being right or loved are polar opposites of one another.  I don’t quite understand why it is so hard for people to say “I’m sorry” or “I was wrong”.  Instead, they either allow people to leave or push them away.  For example, I had a good friend and I shared with her for the umpteenth time that I was tired of traveling with her for her to start public arguments.  Instead of her hearing what I had to say and stopping to evaluate if my concerns were valid she decided to go on the automatic defense and proved that she was right and was justified with her actions.

Well I had had enough.  It is tiring to keep saying the way you are treating me is causing problems for me for it to fall on deaf ears because the person’s self esteem is so compromised that the slightest hint of criticism is interpreted as an all out slight against their beingness.  Nevertheless, on that day I decided to permanently part ways.  About four months later she re-emerged an attempt to simply press the replay button without offering an apology and/or explanation for her choices.

Apparently, failure was not viewed by her as an opportunity to begin again more intelligently.  Furthermore, my concerns about her being antagonistic when traveling were also echoed to her by various traveling partners before me who unlike me bailed out after the first onslaught of her nasty attitude.  Interestingly enough I find that my sticking points with people typically have a pattern and feedback is similar when it comes to certain things.

And, I know the common denominator so when someone raises that particular concern I know it’s me because I’ve heard it all before.  And, I really do adjust my sails and begin again more intelligently first by offering a sincere heartfelt apology for whatever my part was in the communication and/or relationship breakdown.  And, being cognizant and making a conscious effort to avoid engaging in the unwanted behavior with them.

But more times than not others don’t seem to know how to say if you have a problem we have a problem because if one of has a problem it is going to disrupt the overall connection between us.  Let’s look at this and see how we can fix it.  Nope most people go to the automatic defense and risk losing possibly a really good overall friendship and/or relationship so that they can have the privilege of saying I’m right and you’re wrong.

When this happens many people begin again to inevitably experience the same failure because the only time things change is when we admit there is a problem.  And, folks can be defensive and/or play victim all day long but I believe they know on some level of their being the reason why they went to the automatic defense is because something rang true for them.  But, why should someone on the receiving end stick around for repeated offenses when a person won’t admit there is a problem or discuss them in a receptive manner?

I’ve been there and done that.  Too many times I have stayed too long putting up with people who cannot dialogue effectively when I am attempting to express my concerns.  Those days are behind me because I know my limitations and I know the longer I put up with it the less ability I have to keep my temper in check.  It’s like allergies if I know I don’t have the tolerance for certain foods, it’s just best I avoid them.

I’m learning to begin again more intelligently.  Life is too short for the ego trips and blame games.  I’m committed to finding the friendships and relationships where open and honest communication are welcomed and that work for me and the other person.


Day 46 – On Guard!

Today I’ve decided that I will reserve my openness, self-disclosure, and intimacy for people who can be equally open.  I have spent countless years building bonds with people who struggle with appropriate self-disclosure in an intimate relationship.  They are too guarded and secretive.  Ironically, each time I have attempted to have an open dialogue about my concerns about their lack of sharing they seem to not think they have a problem and it is deflected.

It’s okay too each his own.  I had a major awakening today and to be totally honest I have decided to do some major pruning when it comes to my life and who I will continue to invite to sit on the front row seat of my life.  And those who are elusive, closed off, secretive, overly guarded, abruptly withdraw without notice and do not have a healthy give and take in self disclosure will be politely pruned from my life or escorted to the back.

It doesn’t make me right and it doesn’t make them wrong.  It just makes us incompatible.  I have found overly guarded people can be reluctant or unable to make the kinds of personal self-disclosures that help deepen relationships.  Usually as people get to know each other they move past safe, surface-level topics and start sharing more and more of their vulnerabilities and ‘real selves’.  Typically, each person start with minor disclosures, and if they’re met with acceptance and understanding, they step up.

The expectation is that if one person reveals something about themselves that turnabout is fair play.  If they it causes imbalance in the connection process.  The person who opened up may be left feeling displeased, disadvantaged, and a little unfairly exposed.  In the past, I’ve had a habit of sharing too much and have attempted to discuss the issue in the past to be met with what I consider to be stonewalling.  As a result, I would decide the limit had been reached on how close that friendship can get.

However, I have decided today going forward that I much rather cut my losses when encountering stonewalling from people who do not engage in equitable relationships rather than attempting to define where the limits are and then safeguarding them.  I don’t have the time or the energy anymore to invest in this manner.  True close intimate friendships and/or romantic relationships require more than being someone’s cheerleader, swapping trivia, swapping book knowledge, and/or being a good listener to gain more knowledge about the other person while maintaining one’s privacy.

For me that’s a blueprint for an acquaintance not a friendship.  In my opinion, acquaintances do not require steady time investments.  My friendship/relationship blueprint says that things should be equitable and balanced across the board.  I understand and respect that many things contribute to the inaccessibly and semi-inaccessible sealed vaults.  And, there are many people who are totally okay with building friendships and intimate relationships with them.  Everyone has their limitations and this appears to be one of mine.  It doesn’t make me right and anyone else wrong.

We all have the right to choose who we let in, who keep in, who let out, and who we keep out of our lives.  I choose to let the semi-accessible and inaccessible sealed vaults out of my life, not let them into my life and keep them out of my life.