I Choose to Go the Distance

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Sometimes we set goals enthusiastically as a result of a new day, new week, new month, new year, workshop, after a discussion with a friend, etc.   And I don’t know about you but I find that I  set some really really terrific goals and then fail to follow through.

I’ve been on this re-image my body campaign for about a six weeks or so.  About a month ago, I downloaded the SparkPeople App because someone referenced it in a FB group.

Well this one action has led to infinitely many good decisions towards taking action to re-image my body.  For instance one goal  that I’ve set is a mileage goal of 60 miles for the month of September.  That means I choose to go the distance regardless of what the scale says or how I perceive my body isn’t changing and put in 60 miles on the pavement.

Similarly, I have set a goal to do push ups, squats, leg lifts, bridges, crunches, donkey kicks, and lunges daily as well.  And I know with each mile, pushup, squat, leg lift, bridge, crunch, donkey kick, and lunge that it is changing me.  Small efforts performed repeatedly over time yields huge results if we just refuse to quit and persist with consistency.

Likewise, I know if I choose to do nothing that nothing will change.  Similarly, if I continue to make the same choices….I’ll get the same results.  It’ll just be another round of wash, rinse, and repeat.  Therefore, I’m choosing to choose for me!

I choose to make the effort and go the distance.  I can hardly wait to see what results with come of my action.  I love the Sparkpeople App because I’ve learned a lot about my eating habits and why I have failed in the past in re-imaging my body according to the vision that I have for myself.  The one action that I truly cannot wait to see my progress on is the 30 day Fiber Challenge that I decided to do five days ago.

With the SparkPeople 30 day Fiber Challenge, I’m prompted to consume 25-35 grams of fiber each day.  So far I’m on track and am already noticing some significant differences.  And , no I’m not an affiliate marketer for SparkPeople.  I’m a real person making real changes in my life and this tool by far has helped me in infinitely many ways.

I’m loving who I am becoming on this body re-image journey.  I am on my way….I can and I will go the distance!

I Choose to Do Whatever It Takes!

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Great things have never been accomplished by playing it safe.  I’m not sure why we’re so afraid to take chances, to be counterintuitive, go all out, and do whatever it takes to get what we want from life.  If you want it, then you’ll do whatever it takes to get it.  Including pushing through and enduring looking and feeling foolish to get there.   Forget what people might think.  Forget what you might look like.  Drop the inner critic committee. And just do whatever it takes.

And by whatever it takes I don’t mean something illegal or stepping on the backs of others.  I mean taking personal responsibility, taking chances, stretching yourself, learning, shoring up your strengths, being aware and acknowledging your weaknesses, and going all out to get it done.

Sometimes whatever it takes may include saying  no to ourselves.  In order to reach some goals we have to decide what our highest priorities are and have the courage – pleasantly, smiling and non-apologetically- to say  no to other things.  And the way to do that is by having a “BIGGER yes burning inside.”

Sometimes whatever it takes may include cutting ties and/or distancing yourself from certain people and that’s okay too.  Most successful people have admitted to having to leaving some people behind in order to reach greater heights in their life.  Flying solo for a period of your life can be a very empowering and enriching experience.  I don’t know about you but I want all that life has to offer me and I’m done settling.

Sometimes whatever it takes may include ignoring “reality”.  I have noticed a pattern with people who achieve great things.  They have become masters in ignoring “reality” and disciplining themselves to think what they want to think and feel what they want to feel.  You get more of what you focus on.  Therefore the more you focus on what is already happening…the more of it you will get.  The more you focus on past mistakes and letdowns…the more of it you will get.  Instead of focusing on what is and what has passed….focus on what you want and do whatever it takes.

I’m going for what I want from life and I’m willing to do whatever it takes.  See you at the top!

Cheers! ♥♥♥

74.59% of 2016

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Here we go again.  Another new month and we are now into the fourth month of the “new” year.  How is it working for you?  We only have 74.59% of this year left to move closer towards creating the life we imagine for ourselves.  Why do we continuously allow our minds to trick us into believing that it is out there somewhere in time that our dreams will happen for us and we delay living and being happy because it isn’t here yet?

I don’t know about you but I’m guilty of doing this quite often.  However, the best way to get what you want is to give all of your attention and focus on what you want.  We are now three days into our new month of April.  What is it that you want?  What baby steps can you begin making this month to help you reach your goal?  How do you need to utilize your attention and focus to reach your goals?  What daily actions must you incorporate in order to reach your goals?

What about your annual goals?  Can you believe we only have the following for the remainder of this year?

  • 23, 587, 200 seconds
  • 393, 120 minutes
  • 6552 hours
  • 273 days
  • 39 weeks

It’s time to be about it and stop talking about it.  It’s time to persistently and consistently channel our focus and attention on what it is that we want more of in our lives.  I dare you to make SMART goals for this month, write them down, and give all of your attention and focus to them.  As a matter of fact, I double dare you.

If you’re an over achiever, I dare you to write at least one SMART goal for the following areas of your life:  mental, emotional, spiritual, vocational, environmental, social, physical.  Additionally, I dare you to set your dominant intention daily as to how you will choose to feel as well and practice giving your full attention to achieving the feelings you set for yourself daily.

At the end of the day, all I’m saying is decide what it is you want at least by the end of April and give it your full attention.

 

Cheers! ♥♥♥

 

Day 41 – Things Turn Out Best

indexThings don’t always turn out the way that we want them.  And, oftentimes this leave us with all kinds of questions as to why it didn’t/isn’t this happening for me.  I know when life doesn’t deliver me what I want I find myself experiencing a myriad of emotions.

I think it’s human nature to be drawn into the allure of wanting what we can’t have.  It’s amazing how whatever it is in our psychology that drives us in this manner can totally take over us and consume us with the wanting.

A lot of people get so hung up on what they can’t have that they don’t think for a second about whether they really want it. – Lionel Shriver

So much to the point that we get so hung up on what we can’t have that we don’t think for a second about whether we want it or not.  However, once we distance ourselves from the idea of having to have it, we can receive a rush of clarity.

Many times over I have been besieged by a great desire to have various things/people/situations in my life.  And, felt down right cheated when it didn’t happen for me.  Even had the nerve to lament everybody else gets what they want from life but me.  Really?  Now how absurd is that line of thinking?

However, there is one quote that I lean on during times like these.  Thank you Robert Frost for your timeless wise words….”In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.”

When studying the laws of the Universe, it is easy to get caught up and think everything I want I can make it happen the way that I want.  But, in hindsight I’m starting think this is not necessarily true because if it was true there would be no need for Law of Acceptance.

The opening quote I believe captures the essence of the Law of Acceptance.  While yes we can very much create the life that we want I also believe there are some things we have to accept and that is sometimes we’re simply not going to get what we want.

And, it’s okay.  It’s at these times we need to make the best of the way things turn out.  While sometimes this is very difficult and painful to accept, we must push through.

I agree with Ernest Dempsey when he said, “By working through these difficult changes in life, we grow into something new, better, stronger and emerge on the other side more beautiful and wise than we ever imagined.”

We may not see it at the time but things really do turn out for the best.  And, hold strong to knowledge “That all things work together for the good.”  In other words, if we trust the process in the end we’ll see the best was yet to come.

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Day 40 – Thank You

Thank you for joining me on this journey.  Today is the last day of the challenge.  I hope that it has proved to be a fruitful one for you and that you will take the practices we discussed with you into days to come.

“Thank you” are two of the most powerful words in our vocabulary.  Thank you helps us to look for the positive in all situations even the seemingly negative ones.  Regardless of what happens to us or doesn’t happen for us being thankful is like taking a teaspoon of sugar to help the medicine go down.  At any point in time in life we always have plenty to say thank you.

One of the basic needs of humans is to feel appreciated.  But it’s one of the things we most commonly overlook to say thank you to the people in our lives.  In the book, The Magic by Rhonda Byrne, she has an exercise that encourages the reader to thank ten people that perform services they benefit from, by thanking those people directly or otherwise by mentally acknowledging and thanking them.  And, to feel grateful to them for the services they perform.

I’ve gone through her book several times over and each time I get to this day, I have chosen to thank people directly.  It is a heartwarming exercise that opens your heart to give and receive more love.  I’ve done it where I sent it to people who have provided services and to friends and family.  Each time the results are the same people are amazed and grateful to receive a special thank you note.

I invite you to do the same.  Send a thank you to ten people and really feel grateful to them for the services they performed or the role they have played in your life.  And, to count your blessings especially when things seemingly are not going your way.  There is something very therapeutic and soothing about counting our blessings when we feel discouraged, discontented, and/or defeated.  An attitude of gratitude will take us to places beyond our wildest imagination.  Try it….I promise you that you’ll like it.  Wishing you the best!

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Day 37 – Until NOT When…..

How many times have we heard and/or said “I will believe it when I see it.”  Well, scratch that.  No more buying into that type of thinking for me.  From now on, it will be “I will believe it UNTIL I see it!” It will be  UNTIL not when going forward.  Beliefs are nothing more than  thoughts we have accepted as true.  And, I’m 100% convinced we accept them as true because we have repeatedly told ourselves the same thoughts until we materialized the hard evidence in our physical realities to confirm our ingrained thoughts.  Thus accepting them as true.

Don’t believe me listen to people.  I mean really listen to people.  And, hear how they argue for their limitations.  For a bonus activity, listen to yourself.  Sadly more often than not most of us do this.  Listen to how deeply ingrained these limited beliefs are and how these thoughts materialize into hard evidence for us over and over again.  I had an overall enjoyable evening out with a friend.  Her lament is always about how there are no good men out here, how men don’t speak, how men do this or don’t that, blah, blah, blah, blah.

You can definitely tell there is an unwritten belief that she will believe there are good men out here who are available to her when she sees it.  Boink!  Wrong answer because it’s not going to happen.  As long as she holds on to those type of beliefs for dear life there will be no when I see it.  And, no matter how much I try to convince her she has to change her beliefs first, she simply will not believe me and will argue for her relationships limitations even more fervently.

I can see it so clearly now.  I have read much about Law of Attraction, Deliberate Creation, and Law of Allowing.  I have listened to countless audios on how to make changes and create the life you desire.  I have read and listened to countless interviews of people who have defied the odds to achieve huge success.  But as I said in Day 36 post…it seemed as if faith was something random..either you have it or you don’t.

Not anymore.  I believe the great folks who have unlocked the magic formula forgot to share the real ingredient….which is believe it UNTIL you see it!  That’s where the real juice and driving force behind manifesting.  So in the case of my girlfriend, she needs to change her stinking thinking to “there are plenty of good men who I’m capable of having a long lasting, rewarding, and satisfying relationship with” and override the limited beliefs she has concocted in her mind.

If it’s financial freedom.  Then one would need to repeatedly say until it becomes reality that God/Universe is abundant and there is plenty of money to be had by all including me.  The same person would benefit greatly by naming the amount they would like to receive and go to bed each night counting their thousand dollar bills over and over and over again until they drift off to sleep.  Another practice to help believe it until they saw it would be to start connecting with the things the money would buy them.

If it’s a brand new shiny car, then they need to go and test drive it.  Research the insurance, maintenance costs, and tag fees so they know exactly the amount they need and going thru the exact motions as if they are actually purchasing it.  God/Universe has infinite resources and it’s about time we embrace this knowledge.  Jesus was a perfect example of demonstrating the concept of believing it UNTIL you see it.  He believed he could walk on water so he did.  He believed he could turn water into wine so he did.  He believed that he could heal the sick so he did.  He believed he could multiply the loaves and fish so he did. He believed he could raise the dead so he did.

He believed that he had access to the abundance, infinite intelligence, and the transformative powers that belong to God/Universe.  He also knew in order to activate it that unwavering belief was needed.  Therefore, there will be no more excuses for me.  I am now convicted that joy comes from within.  I am now convinced that no person, thing, or place will make me happy.  I am not convinced that I have the power to create the life I want that is congruent with my internal bliss by believing it UNTIL I see.

It took me 37 days of practicing manifesting to have this ah-ha moment.  Therefore, I’m going to extend my challenge another 40 days to practice believing it UNTIL I see it.  I invite you to join me in practicing believing it UNTIL you see it.  One fair warning…be prepared because I believe it will happen so fast that it will make your head spin.  Things will come together so quickly that you will nothing short of amazed.  Be prepared to receive your abundance.  Cheers!

Day 36 – I Choose Who I Am by Design

 

affirmationYou may have heard about affirmations and maybe you doubt they can work for you.  You may even be like me tried them a time or two without results.  If this has been your experience too:  you’re right not all affirmations work.  If you’re like me, you probably have tried to used cookie cutter affirmations – ones someone else created.  In order for them to be effective, it is important to make the affirmation your own.  How do they work?  Affirmations feed your subconscious mind about who you are – your identity.

I like to think of the subconscious mind to be similar to the hard drive on the computer and affirmations to be the save button.  The subconscious mind accepts messages as literal, only knows the present moment, does not understand what isn’t there, and does not understand vague or abstract concepts.  In other words, there is no editing process within the domain of the subconscious mind. Therefore when we craft our affirmations we need to ensure they are concise, present tense, positive, personal and corrective.

To be concise when drafting your affirmations means to exclude obscure words like better.  For instance, “I am a better time manager” is obscure.  What is better constitutes better? How will the subconscious mind know what that mean?  It’s like telling a two year old I need you to do better with picking up your toys.  A two year old would have no idea/concept of what better means.  Therefore an affirmation like “I am action person, I do first things first and one thing at a time.” would be more concise.

To use present tense means to avoid phrases like “I want to be….”, “I will be……”, “I’m going to…..”, “I want to be……..”, “I am getting……”  Other non-present phrases to avoid are “I will……” or “I should….”. Words like can and could or would are to be avoided too.  The idea is to train the subconscious mind to think of you in terms of of what you are, right here right now, not what you can be.  An example of present tense would be “I am secure and happy in all of my relationships.” or “I am focused an productive and I take positive action every day in my ideal career.”

Be positive because the subconscious mind does not recognize words like not or contractions such as don’t, won’t, can’t, etc.  Omit using these words in your affirmations.  An example would be something like “I treat myself with care and respect.” or “I write in my journal, take my vitamins, and say my affirmations daily as part of my self-care.”

To be personal and corrective means your affirmations should  move you overall toward something better, something you want, or something you want to be.  Affirmations are a very powerful tool to help you make the improvements you believe are best for you to make.  For instance, let’s say you struggle with exercise and/or weight loss, then the following examples would be personal and corrective: “I think and eat like a healthy and happy 135lb woman.” or “I exercise a minimum of 30 minutes each day to keep myself fit, healthy, and attractive.”

The important fuel needed for affirmations to work is repetition.  It takes about thirty days for a new affirmation to imprint on your subconscious mind.  I recommend starting with 5-10 affirmations and using them for a minimum of thirty days.  I also recommend saying them aloud first thing in the morning and right before bedtime.  After 30 days revisit them, you may want to revise some of them, swap some out, or add more.  The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.  And, the main thing is to practice, practice, practice saying your affirmations aloud.

Incorporate them into your self talk and be your own biggest fan!  Choose to use affirmations to design who you are!

Day 35 – Put It On Replay

repetitionMany will say that the reason our desires don’t manifest is because we don’t believe it will happen for us.  They go on to say you can do affirmations and say it to yourself over and over again but if you don’t believe it then you’re wasting your time.  For the longest time this has caused great confusion for me  while studying the laws of the Universe and manifesting.  Furthermore, how does this school of thought help us to believe?  It didn’t help me and left me with the impression real belief was random and either you had it or you didn’t have it.

I listen to some audios posted on a blog entitled “Jim Carrey’s 5 Tips for Creating your Reality” and while I felt inspired…I also felt hopeless because once again I was left feeling like real belief was random and either you had it or you didn’t have it.  This was not a  good feeling especially when I was already struggling with my faith today.  So I start to ponder on this key ingredient: Faith or Believing.

I now belief the secret to having faith/belief is repetition.  We believe in our fears through repetition and it is repetition that I believe will deliver us from our fears into the hands of faith.  I’m sure most of us have heard if you tell yourself something enough then you will start to believe it.  Instead of putting negative thoughts of fear on replay we need to put positive thoughts of faith on replay.

And, from my research the optimum time to put it on replay is last thing before going to sleep and first thing upon awakening.  When  I was doing this and my faith was strongest but I feel off the wagon before it became habit.  I suppose this is why the Bible admonishes us to pray without ceasing.  And, why many religions advocate prayer before bedtime and first thing upon arising in the morning.

My grandfather mastered this habit and he was an exceptional man with impeccable character and many achievements.  It will be back to basics for me: putting positive thoughts of faith on replay.  And, to stop falling off the wagon when signs start to emerge that my desires are about to unfold.

Here are some quotes about repetition from well known successful people and thought leaders:

Earl Nightingale: “Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion day, will one day become a reality.”

Brahma: “Frequent repetition of the same types of thoughts creates your beliefs and attitudes.  What you believe comes true for you.”

Norman Vincent Peale: “Repetition of the same thought or physical action develops into a habit which, repeated frequently enough, becomes an automatic reflex.”

Napoleon Hill: “Any idea, plan, or purpose may be placed in the mind through repetition of thought.”

Muhammad Ali: “It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief.  And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.”

Deepok Chopra: “It takes time and repetition to cause long-term balance to shift, but they will.”

Aristotle:We are what we repeatedly do.  Excellence then, is not an act but a habit.”

Bruce Lee: “I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.”

R. Collier: “Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.”

Tony Robbins: “Repetition is the mother of skill.”

 

 

Day 34 – Do More and Do It Better

Do a little more than you’re paid to
Give a little more than you have to
Try a little harder than you want to
Aim a little higher than you think possible
And give a lot of thanks to God for
health, family and friends.
– Art Linkletter

Do each day all that can be done that day.  Especially as it relates to your goals and desires. This doesn’t mean to overwork or blindly rush in attempting to do the greatest number of things in the shortest amount of time.  But, it does mean prioritizing and getting in the habit of doing first things first and one thing at a time.  Get in the habit each day of writing down the top six things you must do that day.

After writing them down, don’t look at the others only the first one, and work on it solely until it’s completed.  Then proceed to the next one and only work on it until completed.  Don’t worry if you only finished one or two the others can wait.  If you couldn’t finish them all by this method, then you wouldn’t have  finished them anyway.

The idea of taking things one at a time and in their proper order, of staying with one task until it’s successfully completed before moving to the next will drastically increase your completion rate.  This simple but tremendously effective method will take confusion out of your life and allow you to do more and do it better.  Capacity is a state of mind.

How much we can do depends on how much we think we can do.  When you really believe you can do more, your mind thinks creatively and shows you the way.  Success minded people constantly ask themselves two questions: (1) how can I improve the quality of my performance? (2) how can I do better? Just like General Electric’s old slogan their mantra is “Progress is our most important product.”  Why not make progress your most important product?  The I-can-do-better philosophy works magic.

Before jotting down your six most important daily tasks to complete, devote 10 minutes to thinking “How can I do a better job today?”  Ask, “What can I do today to encourage my employees?” “What special favor can I do for my customers?” “How can I increase my efficiency?”  This exercise works.

Try it and you’ll find unlimited creative ways to win greater success.  The success combination is do what you do better (improve the quality of your output) and do more of what you do (increase the quantify of your output) and apply it in business, in the home, in the community, basically implement it wherever you go.

Top success in any endeavor is reserved for the I-can-do-it-better kind of person.

 

Day 33 – Master Your Mental Monsters

Have you ever had an experience with someone and when they recounted the events your mouth drops to the floor in amazement because their recollection is totally different than yours?  This happens all of the time.  Not only with others but with ourselves too.  Let us already be in a delicate mood and something unpleasant happens….the mental monsters will have a field day feeding us unimaginable stories all slanted towards the negative.  And, if we don’t master them, they will have us acting like we think.  The consequences can be fatal to our relationships with others.

I had the opportunity to attend a Crucial Conversation and a Crucial Confrontation training at my job.  And, the class was really great in that they presented some awesome tools to sift thru the muck and mire and separate facts from the stories we tell ourselves.  But this was not my first exposure to this concept.  During marital counseling, the therapist at the time introduced me to rational emotive behavior therapy in worksheet form also known as the ABC sheet.  With this exercise you are instructed to divide an index card or piece of paper into three columns and label them A,B,C respectively.

In the first column(A), you’re instructed to record what happened (the facts), and in the second column(B) what you thought about it (the story) and in the third column(C) your feelings a result of what you thought.  The therapist instructed me to stop and do this exercise to recalibrate before having any type of emotionally charged conversation with my husband at the time or anyone else for that matter.  Well, let me tell you this was waaaaaaay easier said than done.  It was a more miss than hit process for me.

Years later I took the Crucial Conversation/Confrontation training, still a very hit or miss process for me with more misses than hits.  Then while googling on the web a few years later, I came across Byron Katie’s website which again expounded on this concept of separating facts from the stories I tell myself about the facts.  Her worksheet took things a step further and you were instructed to explore how you would feel without that thought.  Basically, this was the third time this concept was being reinforced.  Yet I still could not tame the mental monsters when the stakes were high….they still would get the best of me and I would resort to having a very emotionally charged conversation that  resulted in damage to my relationships.  And, also left me with overwhelming feelings of regret.

I just didn’t get it.  I knew better but yet I still could not master my mental monsters at critical times.  I don’t think it really clicked for me until recently, when I started doing research daily in order to blog. I finally found the key to mastering my mental monsters.  I have discovered to master them I need to purge them daily.  I didn’t recognize I needed to do this before because I had cultivated the habit of listening to their sweet nothings day in and day out, and I didn’t stop to question what they were saying.  Now I practice being more aware of my thoughts and catching myself in the act when my mental monsters start with with their campaign of lies.

I have made the commitment to take possession of my mind to direct it, command it, and train it to focus on what I want.  Mental monsters have an insatiable appetite for the unwanted.  It’s main focus is to feast upon the unwanted.  So I noticed anytime I start to dwell on the unwanted the mental monsters would have a field day.  Therefore, I discoverd the antidote is to purposely feed my mind the wanted on a continuum throughout the day, day in and day out.  If my mind drifts to the unwanted, I refocus it back to the wanted.

Some of the behavioral changes I have noticed include, but are not limited to the following:

  • My dialogue has changed and is much more positive
  • I feel calmer, happier,  and more optimistic
  • I am more accepting of behaviors in others that I found totally annoying before
  • I’m finding it is easier for me to forgive others and myself
  • I’m starting to take more chances and live beyond my comfort zone
  • I’m taking better care of my health and surroundings
  • My relationships with others are vastly improving
  • I feel more confident and capable
  • I am cultivating the ability to do what I need to do when I need to do it
  • I am more loving and appreciative of others
  • I am developing the habit of being more thankful
  • It is becoming easier and easier for me to accept what is
  • My focus has shifted from getting results to making life long changes
  • I’m enjoying being single, focusing on me, and living well while I can
  • I’m getting in the habit of looking for the silver lining even in the midst of being emotionally charge
  • I’m mastering the art of self-soothing
  • I blame others less and less

In essence, mastering mental monsters is just like the effort to maintain good hygiene, we must cleanse our minds daily or there will be funky consequences.  And, just like poor personal hygiene repels folks and send them running from us….our mental monsters do the exact same thing.  Therefore, we must rule our minds or our minds will rule us.